Week #45 (4-6-09)

I really really enjoyed conference this last weekend. I only got to watch 3 sessions, but it was still really good. For me I really learned that I need to have more faith and less fear because fear and faith cannot exsist together. I also really noticed quite a few talks that will be great for investigators....the one by Elder Holland about Jesus Christ (man can he bear great testimony of Jesus Christ) and also Elder Cook about the plan of Salvation. I also really lived all of the talks that talked about how to overcome sadness from the death of a loved one. I meet a lot of people who have lost their faith because of the death of a loved one and I think that a lot of things that were said could help them. WOW. I love when they teach us...you can just see the authority with which they teach. The Priesthood is amazing!!!

So, this week was an interesting week. We had a lot of ups and downs..well emotionally I did.!! :o) Wednesday the Elders called and said that Tobias Berzbach (who sis Sayson and I found...the man who always said Gerne when we asked to meet together) he called them and told them that he doesn´t have anymore interest and he doesn´t want to meet with the Elders any more. I was so shocked. He came and heard me sing in church and said that he really enjoyed my singing, but also that he really enjoyed the meeting. He was so prepared and ready for the Gospel and I was really upset and confused. I started to cry a little because I was so sure that he was going to get baptized. Well, I was sitting on the bus a little bit later praying to my Father in Heaven for understanding and comfort. Well, He gave me the comfort that I needed and I cheered up a bit by the time we got to our appointment with a less active. As sister Sayson taught her part she said something that really touched me. She said that in our lives we need to have pain and sorrow to know what it´s like to be really happy. I already knew that, because I have also taught that many times to others, but this time it really hit me...if I didn´t know what it felt like to lose an investigator and feel really sad and depressed from it then how could I know how much joy I could feel when one of them chooses to step into the waters of baptism. It was an eye opener for me. It really helped me to be ok with his decision...although Sister Sayson and I are still trying to get a hold of him to see if we can do anything for him or answer any questions!! :o)

Some other personal things happened this week, but I won´t bore you with the sadness I feel when I am so hard on myself. I need to let up, but it is really hard for me. I expect perfection and if I can´t do it perfectly then I either don´t want to do it at all or I beat myself up for not doing it without flaw!! I´m hoping in the next 6 months to learn that I can´t live my life that way. :o)

We also got to help in Sch. Müller´s Garden this week. That was a lot of fun, but I decided that I don´t want to have a garden when I am older. Here in Germany they have such small homes...mostly apartments...so they don´t have room for a garden. Well, they have these places that are just gardens. It´s hard to explain so I will just have to send a picture next week. So anyway she owns this plot of land with a bunch of other gardens in the area and it is pretty big. Bigger then I think she can handle alone...that is why we were there!! We are also helping her this week again I really like to help her and to work in HER garden, but I could never have my own that bit...too much work...and it hurts the back!! lol!!

Well until next week!!

Love you, Sister Jones